Saturday, April 26, 2008

incapacity

Nearly two months ago I knocked my hand awkwardly against the car. A minor irritation, not especially painful at the time. Now that hand is almost useless. My old bugbear of arthritis has set into the virgin joints with the grip of a terrier. After twelve years free of the crippling pains that ruined my thirties when walking was often too painful to contemplate, the nightmare returns with a vengeance. It is my left hand and I am left-handed: writing, cooking, any normal everyday action is now an ordeal. Perhaps I should be thankful that the savage pain in one finger that kept me awake night after night has at least faded to a constant dull ache - but the slightest pressure on the hand brings out that blast of agony only too quickly. My world has shrunk swiftly into limited actions and strategic movement, a way of living I thought was well buried in my past. Funny how quickly the old patterns return - I find myself instinctively guarding my knees and feet from potential trauma and moving with the gait of a cripple that once came so naturally. And yet there is nothing wrong with those joints. Yet.

2 comments:

Rhinoa said...

I am really sorry to hear about your hand pains and the way it is limiting you. It's so annoying that something that seems so minor at the time can have such a long lasting detrimental effect. Will be thinking of you and hope you are well besides this. Have missed hearing from you lately.

Caroline said...

What she said...so sorry to hear this and wishing you much healing. It may be worth looking into acupuncture, my mum found a fair bit of relief this way.

All the best.